Sunday, August 31, 2014

Stones before Sand

Blog Renamed!
For those of you who are leery of change, I'm sorry for the constant updating of my blog title. However, I firmly believe that as my life changes and goes in different directions, my blog posts are also going to change. This "Stones before Sand" Title may not be all that obvious or appealing, but I promise there is a point to it! For one thing, it is my new life motto, so every time I visit my blog to write new posts, I will be reminded of this motto. Visit my Stone Before Sand page and I can further explain this new motto and blog title. Hopefully after reading my explanation, the peculiar title will make more sense!


Home
At the beginning of the month, Mitchell and I made a trip home to Minnesota to spend a couple weeks with my family. It was a MUCH NEEDED break from the craziness of summer! I absolutely love long trips with Mitchell because it gives us time to talk, and talk, and talk and talk! We had 16+ hours to do nothing but just be together.


There was so much going on during the couple weeks we were home! Check it all out below!!

Alicia/Chandler's Wedding
My friends from high school, Chandler and Alicia, got MARRIED on August 2nd. Alicia and I were close during our cheerleading days and Chandler is one of the nicest guys I have ever met! I'M SO HAPPY for them! They were high school sweethearts and it was so nice to be there on their big day! CONGRATS Alicia and Chandler!

Engagement Party
My Godmother Kathy, Auntie Barb, and Auntie Betty  and their families, all came together and threw Mitchell and I an Engagement party! We are so grateful they decided to do this for us. It was so amazing to see everyone and for Mitchell to get to meet the rest of the family. We had so much fun!!!! We love you all!! Thank you so much for celebrating with us! For an update, check out our wedding website! 

Micayla and Jared had a Photo Booth set up and we all got a little crazy!! ;) Check out the picture evidence! 
 I've included some teasers below!!! ;)




Engagement pictures
We are so very happy with the way our Engagement pictures turned out. Scott from Lemar Photography did a great job of capturing some awesome shots! In addition to our engagement pictures, Matthew also took some senior picture shots. I can't believe my baby brother is already a senior. WHEN IN THE WORLD DID THAT HAPPEN?!!! I'm so gosh darn proud of him and I love my little brother like crazy!

Check out our WedPics Album to see all of our Engagement pictures. 
Here are some of our favorites!! 






Registering for Gifts 
Mitchell's favorite wedding activity by far was registering for gifts....he fantasized about how much fun he was going to have with the scanning gun!! Me, I'm so glad he was excited about this task because I really was not expecting him to be so enthused about it. There's one thing I've learned about planning a wedding, and that is that the groom typically doesn't get excited about too many of the details, so when they get excited about something, let them run with it! So....that's what I did. ;)

As you can tell, Mitchell and I went a little crazy....
I had so much fun beforehand reading all of my wedding planning books and seeing what I needed to register for and what I didn't really need. It was amazing being able to imagine and dream about our future life together. What did we want our kitchen to look like? What colors did we want our master bedroom to be? It was so exciting to think about and dream about our first home together! I can't wait to be MRS. STEELE!!! 264 DAYS!!!! 

Richman's Lake with Emma
I'm so very glad that Mitchell was finally able to meet our precious little flower girl Emma Lee Gavin. Emma and her mom Mary came to John and Marcia's lake with us for the weekend. We had a blast hanging out and our little flower girl.....WHAT A HOOT!!! She is full of spunk and sass and we just love her oodles and oodles. That weekend, Emma was having trouble distinguishing between "I don't know" and "I don't care", so every time she meant to say, "I don't know", she'd say "I don't care!" The perfect example was when I asked her, "Emma who is this (pointing to Mitchell)?" and she says boldly, "I DON'T CARE!" Oh the cuteness. Probably the best part was Emma telling her Papa John, "I'm going to tell on you!" when he told her it was time for bed. She stormed inside, but then a couple minutes later, Emma came outside to announce, "I'm BAAACK! See I TOLD YOU!" I think it was safe to say that her Papa John was surprised at his 2 year old granddaughter's burst of sass! It was thoroughly entertaining for the rest of us. :)




Robin Williams
On a more serious note, August 11th was a sad day for the whole world I think. Robin Williams tragically passed away. Even though I obviously didn't know him personally, it was heartbreaking to know that he was struggling with depression on such a deep level. He could've been saved. I've personally battled with depression, so my heart is heavy for anyone struggling with it. I could devote a whole entire post to this very subject, oh wait, I already did! If you want to hear more about my story and my thoughts on his passing, check out my previous post: Depression: Starting the Conversation.

New Semester! 
The night before Mitchell and I were leaving to head back to Nashville, I had a little mini meltdown at home. I thought I had gotten passed the whole homesick, bawling before I leave home every time thing, but for some reason, this time I was so so sad to leave! I was no nervous about starting classes and being in a completely new major, I felt sick to my stomach. I honestly didn't even want to come back- I told my mom that I wanted to just stay at home and plan Mitchell and I's wedding full-time. Sadly, that wouldn't help me make it to graduation. I eventually sucked it up but I was scared to death. I had no idea what this new major was going to be like, and I'd be lying if I wasn't questioning my decision to change.

Less than 3 weeks later.....I have now been a Communications major for 2 weeks and so far, I'm LOVING it. It really is perfect for me, and I feel like I really fit in more in this field of study. I'm fascinated every day by words and how people interact and communicate. There is a little bit of a learning curve just because most people have been Comm majors from the very beginning. I'm working hard to close that gap and I'm learning so much every single day. Time will tell for sure, but for now, I'm very happy with my decision to switch majors! I'm so happy God led me to that decision. It's definitely been a blessing so far!

This semester is very different from the last 2 semester have been for Mitchell and I in that our days are spent completely apart. We were spoiled the last 2 semesters. We were blessed that we were able to have all the same classes and spend most of our days in class together and then our evenings were spent together studying. It's been an adjustment for sure, but I'm thankful that I get to see his smiling face in time for dinner every night! I actually get to ask the question, "how was your day?" because I didn't spend my entire day with him! It makes our time together all that more special for sure!

Back as Interns
After the first couple weeks of August at home, I was able to get back to working at Show Hope! I was SO happy to walk through those doors the first day back at school. I told everyone in the office that it was so nice to have a sense of familiarity in my day to balance out the new major change. I walked in those doors and felt so calm and peaceful. I knew what I was doing there. I'm so glad to be back working with our advocates program and helping out the Comm team again. Plus, there is a whole new set of interns to get to know this semester and they're all awesome! I love being a part of the Show Hope family!!

Mitchell started a brand new internship this semester at Capitol Christian Music Group in Brentwood. I am SO proud of him for this internship. He always wanted to work at Capitol one day and now he is their intern! So far, he is enjoying it! He always comes home with a smile on his face, so that's a good sign, right? :) Plus, he gets to hang around a bunch of Steven Curtis Chapman's gold records all day. Win-win for him!

T.Swift webcast
The moment me, along with millions of other Swifites, have been waiting 2 WHOLE YEARS for finally arrived! Taylor Swift announced her new album 1989!!

COMING OCTOBER 27th!!! 

People were SO up and arms because this is her first official POP album! Does that really surprise any of us? Not really. It would annoy me to no end when people would say, "she's sooo not country". So what? I really don't care what genre Taylor Swift is just as long as she keeps writing songs. Hate on her all you want but this girl understands and knows how to work the music business. Anyone who wants to disagree with me can take it up with her bank account which indicates she made over $64 million as of June 2014. She must be doing something right. I'm a #Swiftieforlyfe. 

Gracie Steele and I watched the live video stream together....well, not technically together but we video chatted while I watched it on the way back to Nashville. I'm telling you....there were MULTIPLE fan girl freak out moments. She had so many surprises! A NEW ALBUM!!! AHHHHH! A NEW SINGLE!!!! AHHHH!!! A NEW MUSIC VIDEO!!! AHHH!!!!! And we all know what's coming next, right?  A NEW TOUR!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!! 

CHECK OUT TAYLOR'S NEW MUSIC VIDEO FOR 
"SHAKE IT OFF"

If you decided to crawl under a rock during her WORLDWIDE LIVE VIDEO STREAM, you can watch a recap of all of the secrets she revealed and catch yourself up on this very important information. 


YOU GO MAMA!
Okay, now we're getting into the part of this month's post where I will be introducing you to some of my life heroes. One of my biggest heroes is my mama. She is my inspiration on my journey to get healthy and start taking better care of myself! I cannot believe that she has lost 50lbs since this spring! She looks AMAZING!! I was talking to her the other day and I told her that she now only looks WAY thin, but she looks healthier and she looks happier! I am SO SO SO proud of my mama and I'm so happy that she decided to start taking good care of herself! YOU GO MAMA!!


One day when we were back home in Minnesota, I had a meeting with Lori from Lovin'Nutrition. She has me hooked on Herbalife protein shakes! YUM!!! Although I have been drinking them for awhile, I hadn't really taken steps to lose weight or get healthier with them, I just liked to drink them because they tasted good. However, today I had a fitness consultation with Lori where she put me on a plan to help me drop 10lbs by Christmas break. She seems confident that with 2 shakes a day and an exercise plan, I'll reach my goal and feel like a million bucks! Can't wait to see what happens. :) I'm so ready to take charge of my health and get in shape. I'm sick and tired of just talking about it; I'm ready to actually DO something about it and see results for the first time. See, my problem is I always quit before I see any results because I'm impatient with myself. I have to learn patience and perseverance!

This is my absolute FAVORITE flavor: Cookies and Cream....YUMMY!!! 



I've also started a brand new fitness program called PIYO. 3 days in and I'm loving it!! If it isn't obvious based on the name, its a perfect combination of Pilates and Yoga. It's been kicking my butt but I love it! I was looking for something a bit less "jumpy and punchy", more low impact. This was a perfect find for me!



He is Home
The man who loves me more than anyone in the whole world. Mitchell Dan Steele. This guy goes above and beyond for me every single day, and I know that he would do anything to make me happy. He makes a bad day good, and a good day even better. He was the one there to talk me off a cliff when I thought I had made the biggest mistake of my life by changing my major. He was there through the most challenging and emotionally exhausting spring and summer of my entire life. He has been the rock I so desperately need to keep me grounded and secure. He makes me feel beautiful every single day, and he makes me feel like the most loved girl on the planet. I love him oh so much and he is the best thing that has ever happened to me! Love you Mitchell!



Life in a glass jar
Another one of my role models is someone I've been watching on television since I was literally one year old. She played DJ Tanner on Full House, but now she is a full-time mom, wife, author, actress, producer, and wholesome Christian role model! I read her book "Reshaping it All" and you can check out my thoughts on that on my Books I Love page. In addition to having 2 AWESOME books, she goes around speaking and sharing her INCREDIBLE testimony. I can't even tell you how inspiring she has been in my life. There were many lightbulb moments for me as I read her book and heard her testimony, but one point in particular really stuck out to me and I actually shared what I was inspired to do because of it......

In her book, Candace talks about this concept of life being like a glass jar. In my life, I have stones, which are the things that take up the most time and energy- our priorities, the things that are the most important to me and that we have to make time for every single day. My stones are the things that go into my jar first, meaning they are what you put first before anything else. No matter what else I have going on, I put your stones in first.  For example, here are my stones:

My stones include: My daily devotional time, prayer time, Bible study,
Mitchell-time together, music, hobbies, daily workouts and healthy eating, work and
studying for school, intentionality in my relationships, Bedtime prayers with Mitchell,
laughter, and not forgetting to have FUN! 

In addition to stones, we all have "sand" that comes up in life. Sand is all of that stuff that comes up that still takes time and energy, but isn't one of our stones. It isn't life or death. It isn't a big priority, or at least it shouldn't be. Sand is what goes in after all of your stones are in your jar. It's very important that I put your stones in first. Why? I'll tell you....

See, I don't know if any of you are like me but I tend to let the little stuff bother me. Or I make the little stuff a bigger deal than it is. Often times, I fill my "life" or my jar with the sand first. I work tirelessly until my jar is completely full of sand. What's the problem in that? Well, if I fill my entire day, my entire jar, my entire LIFE with sand, I have absolutely no room for the stones. BUT, amazingly enough, if I put the stones in my jar first, the sand falls into place where there is room in between the stones. If my "stones" go in first, the sand will fall into place and my priorities are in order the way they should be. Makes sense doesn't it? This was a lightbulb moment for me! So much so, I wanted a constant reminder of it. I made myself my own little "life jar" that serves as a reminder to put "stones before sand". So far, it's helped me stay focused on what really matters, and the funny thing is, I feel 100x more productive when I put my stones first than when I used to try and fit as much sand in my jar as possible. 





I am going to keep this concept of my life in a glass jar on my "Stones before Sand" page as a reminder to myself as well as to ya'll who may need the reminder for time to time to focus your attention on your stones first, and let the sand fill in the cracks. It really will amaze you how things fall into place when you are faithful about putting what's most important first.

30 Day Challenge

In lei of reading a hardcover book for this month's book update, I decided to take Chalene Johnson's 30 Day Challenge. She is quickly becoming another life inspiration. I just finished day 12 and let me just tell you....this is a game changer! Seriously, I was VERY skeptical of this going into it, but I'm honestly so thankful I decided to go ahead with it!
Here is what I've done so far as part of my 30 Day Challenge:
1. Priority Clarity Statement: it may seem cheesy and "self helpy" but I'm serious when I say it has helped so much. Chalene had techniques to dig deep and make my top priority crystal clear so that literally every single thing I do flows from this one statement.
2. PUSH Goal: a push goal is the one goal on your whole entire list of goals that makes the other goals possible. It is the one thing that, hence the name, pushes you to accomplish the rest of your goals. Again, it may seem cheesy until you actually identify it based on your clarity statement, and again, everything you do is in line with your top priority and PUSH goal.
3. Push Goal Promise: I made a push goal promise to my mom, Mitchell, and all my blog readers to keep me accountable. Check out my 30 Day Challenge page to view my promise I made!
4. To-Do Lists: Anyone who knows me knows that I am the to-do list queen! So why is it that I can never ever ever seem to accomplish everything on my to-do list? Well, it turns out I was going about making my lists all wrong. I'm not giving away any secrets though. If you want to find out the answer, Take the 30 Day Challenge! 
5. Positive Reminders: My positive reminders come from scripture.

Psalm 139:14 
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 
your works are wonderful, I know that full well." 

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. 
"Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you. 
Plans to give you a hope and a future."

Philippians 4:13 
"I can do all things through Christ who gives me Strength."


Prayer Focus for this next month: 


Intentionality (if that's a word??) 
I'm praying to be intentional about investing time and energy into the people in my life. Whether they are near or far, doing better about staying in touch and being intentional in my relationships.

The Ability to Let Go and Let God! 
I'm praying for the ability to let go of things I can't control. I need to learn how to trust God more completely, and let Him take care of me. And also, needing to let go of the little things. 21 year olds shouldn't be worried 24/7 365 days of the year. It's okay to let go of worries and cares every once in awhile and have fun!!

I will keep them posted on my Online Prayer Journal. If you have any prayer requests, feel free to contact me! 


Well....I think that's all there is for now. August was a pretty busy month, but I have no doubt that September will be as well. That's just kind of the way life goes, isn't it? We're doing our best to focus on the important "stones" in our lives first. I pray that all of you reading this can do the same. Let's remember to always put our "stones before sand...."

Here's my August Playlist! 


-Emily

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

My Push Goal Promise

Today as a part of my 30 Day Challenge to determine priorities and goals, I am making a push goal promise. I will achieve this goal in the next year with support and encouragement from friends and family.

I'm putting it here on my blog as another way to keep me accountable and to make my push goal public. I suppose it may seem silly, but if you know me very well, you know that I am one who needs accountability.

My push goal is the one goal that makes all of my other goals possible, it is the driving force, and it makes all of the other things I hope to accomplish easier once achieved. My push goal is to achieve and maintain over balance in my life that includes: daily devotional time, prayer time, scripture study, a workout and healthy eating, and quality time together with the important people in my life.

This is my overall priority because once it is achieved and I have that balance in my life, all of the my other 9 goals for the year will be possible. This push goal is all about growing my relationship with the Lord and honoring Him with in all areas of my life every single day. God will take care of absolutely everything, so if my push goal is to draw closer to Him, my whole life is going to change for the better. When my life feels in balance, I am happier, nicer, and life is more FUN! My friends and family deserve that much from me.

I made this promise to two very important people in my life who I know that when I achieve this overall push goal of balance, they are the two people who are going to be directly affected by it. They are going to feel it, and I know that they are going to be the most proud of me when I accomplish it. I'm going to need their help to keep me accountable and help encourage me, but I know that I can count on them to do it!

I promise these goals I have are going to make me a better, happier, person and that will affect how I am to be around. I will save this promise, and in one year, I can take a look back and reflect on how this push goal has affected my life.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

In the End, God Wins

My heart is heavy tonight after reading about the devastating murder of James Foley, an American reporter who had been held hostage by ISIS. I'm praying for comfort and peace for his family and friends.

I am in no way claiming to be an expert in politics or international affairs. I'm certainly not a theologian or scholar. I'm just a girl praying for a peaceful world. With all of the violence and conflict going on in the middle east, the presence of evil in this world can't be ignored. As Christians, its vital for us to understand that there is a war going on right now. A war that we can't directly see. The enemy is working hard in the hearts of members of ISIS and he is creating evil and destruction. We must prepare ourselves to fight for the kingdom of God by devoting ourselves to constant prayer. A constant state of prayer by living our lives in a way that is spreading love and spreading the goodness of God. We need to use OUR free will to make the choice to reach those who are hurting, and to reach those who don't know God. The enemy WILL lose. Our God is greater than the evil we see right now. Please join in prayer for the Middle East. Never forget who the enemy is. Be on your guard and stand firm in the promises of God!

So many people are asking, "why did God allow that to happen?" or "why does God allow such evil in this world?" There is something very important to understand here. There is a very evil and a very REAL enemy at work in our world right now. It's naive to believe that the enemy has no power. He does. Unfortunately, he has power to plant seeds of evil and that's what he is doing. God isn't making this happen.  The evil one is working furiously to create as much evil and turmoil in this world as he can. God doesn't want this to happen. And while He may have the power to stop it, God is a just God who gave each and every human being their own free will. It breaks my heart that so many people in our world choose to serve the enemy's evil purpose instead of God's divine and heavenly purpose. It breaks GOD'S heart to see His people being tortured and executed. It breaks His heart to see people He created inviting the enemy to rule in their hearts and act out such evil! God is GOOD and FAIR! So fair that He would never take away anyone's free will. Even though He wants us to choose to do good and not evil, we still have the ability to choose. ISIS is choosing wrong and it's breaking hearts all over the world, and its breaking God's heart.

I am praying tonight for all those being executed and tortured. I'm also praying for those hearts that have been filled by the evil one. God has never ever broken His promises to us. He promises that one day He will restore His people and destroy evil forever. I can't wait for that day. Evil is never God's fault. It's the enemy's doing. Evil is always the enemy's doing. And he is the source of the lies that say God isn't good, that God doesn't care, or that evil is the answer. Lies lies lies. 

Someday, I don't know when that day will be, but someday, good will be the only thing left. War won't exist, pain won't exist, death won't exist, only good. In the end, God wins. 

Let's pray with urgency. 

-E


Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Depression: Starting the Conversation

A normal blog post for me consists of life updates on a month-to-month basis. However, in light of the recent Robin Williams tragedy, the subject of suicide and depression is weighing heavily on my heart. This seemed as good a place as any to dedicate a blog post to the heart breaking mental illness that I myself struggled with that deeply shattered me to my core.

Depression. It’s a scary thing. Nobody really likes to talk about it. If you have it or have had it, you don’t feel comfortable bringing it up. Those who have never had it don’t feel comfortable bringing it up either. It makes me so sad to know that there are people in this world hurting more than we can imagine. If only we were brave enough to say something! We could be the person that breathes hope into an otherwise hopeless situation.

There is just so much I could say about this subject. Let me start off this post by saying that suicide is NEVER the answer. Ever, ever, ever. I am speaking from personal experience that suicide causes more pain for those you leave behind. Life is tough and it can kick you down so hard, but suicide is an idea from the enemy. Suicide is proof that the devil has worked his way into your heart and convinced you that there is no way out of your pain. The devil wants nothing more than to see us suffer, that’s why he tells us we’re trapped in our misery. I myself felt the enemy trying to work his way into my heart when I was struggling with depression. He tried to take away any hope I had. He tried to convince me that my family and friends wouldn’t miss me. He tried to convince me that if I were to take my own life, I could take my pain away. Lies, Lies, and more lies! The enemy is a liar- its what he does and its who he is. He seeks to destroy us because God loves us. The devil hates what God loves-that’s what makes them enemies! PLEASE don’t buy into the trap that you’re only option is to end your own life. There is HOPE and God always has a way out. Suicide is never God’s way out. God is the very giver of life! He gave us all LIFE to live and He is Healer of all. He can heal a mental illness. Suicide isn’t a cure; it's a very painful, very permanent reaction to the pain a mental illness can cause.

Almost a year ago, I lost someone close to me to suicide. I had NO idea he was struggling as much as he was. That was the worst part. I considered myself to be his friend and I had no idea of the pain he was feeling. The enemy was attacking is heart and trying to convince him that he had no way out of the pain he was feeling. I wish more than anything in the world that I could tell him “it's a lie!” God only knows why my eyes weren’t opened to the pain he was facing, but my heart still breaks every time I think about him. If only someone could’ve spoken hope into his life. If only he knew that there was a way out! If only he felt safe to talk about his struggles. The world we live in creates a negative stigma for those struggling with mental illnesses. We simply don’t like talking about it. If only we TALKED about it and created an environment for those struggling to ask for HELP! We need to start talking about it. I’m so sick and tired of reading stories and hearing of people taking their own lives. It is unnecessary and preventable!
More times than not, those who take their own lives are individuals struggling with some sort of mental illness. That’s right, and ILLNESS. It is a medical condition that needs and deserves MEDICAL attention. One of the things I felt when I was struggling was that it was just a “get over it” thing. But the thing was, I couldn’t bring myself to just get over it by myself. I struggled for months all alone to try and shake the sad feeling, but when it's a medical illness, you can’t just wish it away! I needed help and so many others need help, too. We should never and I repeat never be telling people with a mental illness that they need to “suck it up” or “get over it” or to “just be happy”. The thing is, those struggling are TRYING to suck it up and get over it, but the reality is, they just can’t on their own. They need our help. They need support. They need hope. Most of all they need love.

Its so hard because it is a subject nobody likes to sit around and talk about, and its not something we want to bring up, but the reality is, if we want to silence the stigma and stop suicide from happening, WE NEED TO START THE CONVERSATION. There are several things that I have had people ask me about my own struggle with depression. I know they were worried about offending me by asking these questions, but I was glad they asked. I was so happy they took the time to start the conversation with me about my struggle. Here are the top 6 things I was asked:

1. “How did you know you were depressed?” 

At first, I had no idea I was depressed. For me, it started out as a gradual decline. I didn’t wake up one morning sad and BOOM I was depressed. No, it happened over the course of a few months. I started to feel tired-over tired. I wanted nothing more than to sleep all of the time. I would go to school, come home and sleep, sometimes too tired to even eat dinner. I was too tired to work out, I started gaining weight, and I felt like I was having a “down in the dumps” day every day.
Before I knew what was happening, I started to cry, and for a year, I really didn’t stop. I cried myself to sleep, I cried in the shower, I cried while putting my makeup on, so I stopped wearing it. I cried in class, I cried in the school hallways. I cried for no particular reason. People would ask me what was wrong and when I said, “I don’t know, just everything.” I was telling the truth! Everything made me sad, and I couldn’t tell you what specifically was making me cry. After a year of struggling and a year of crying, I started to realize that something was wrong. I looked back at pictures and saw a drastic change in my appearance, I was heavier, I was sadder, I just looked hopeless.
My friend Mary stood by me throughout this whole time and was able to see this happening to me. She finally was able to get me to admit that something wasn’t right and that I was struggling to “get over it”. She helped me realize that I couldn't and shouldn't do it alone. I needed to ask my parents for help. One night, I had finally had it! My younger brother Matthew and I were fighting and that’s when I lost it, I started to SOB to my dad and it eventually came out, “I need help! This isn’t right. My life is a mess and I need you to HELP ME!”

2. What does being depressed feel like?

Simply put, it feels depressing. You feel hopeless, you feel sad. You feel sad for no reason at all or you feel sad for every single reason in the whole world. I felt like I was on this roller coaster of emotion and I didn’t feel like I was in control of my feelings. I felt like they were controlling ME. I was letting my feelings make me sad all of the time. I wasn’t able to be happy about anything. I was tired beyond normal and wanted nothing more than to just crawl into my bed and just never wake up. I felt like the world was too hard to face and my life wasn’t worth anything to anyone. I couldn’t stop myself from crying when the tears came, and I had no idea what to do.


3. What did your friends and family do? 

To be honest, I don’t think they had any idea WHAT to do. They were around me every single day and so the changes probably weren’t very drastic to them. Ever so slowly I slipped into depression and by the time they noticed it happening, I had hit rock bottom. Once they knew that I was struggling, they were the ones there to help pick me back up. They surrounded me with love and support and created an environment where I felt comfortable asking for help and felt like I wouldn’t be judged, but I would be loved unconditionally. They celebrated little victories-like on days when I would only spend 4 hours of my day crying! They stood by me and made themselves available to talk if I needed it. I am grateful my good friend Mary was able to help me come to a place where I was able to ask for help, but I know some people who struggle don’t have someone like her. I wish someone would’ve noticed sooner, but I’m extremely blessed that someone noticed at all. It breaks my heart to know that some people don’t get noticed in time.
4. How/when did you finally get help?

 It all started with a fight with my brother! I was screaming and sobbing and had no idea what I was saying, and it all of a sudden slipped out of my mouth, “dad I need you to HELP ME!!! I NEED HELP!!!” I probably freaked him out real good. That night, I sat down with my parents and my friend Mary came over. I told them that I had been struggling for so long and I was tired. I was tired of being tired. I was tired of being sad. I wanted to seek professional help and they agreed to help me make it happen. I went to see a doctor the next day and was referred to a psychiatrist at our local hospital. I was diagnosed with clinical depression that day. There was a chemical imbalance in my brain that needed to be corrected. It wasn’t something she told me to get over. Instead, she was able to prescribe a antidepressant for me and within a couple months, I felt like a new person. Through the medicine she prescribed and the love and support of my friends and family, I was able to bounce back rapidly, and I haven’t been back to that dark place since. I'm not saying medicine is the answer for everyone, but for my clinical depression, I needed the medicine to correct the imbalance in my brain.

5. What can I do if I know someone who is struggling?

LOVE THEM! Whatever you do, don’t just do nothing because you feel uncomfortable. That person needs to know that they have someone to be there for them. Let them know that you are there. Ask them if you can help. Don’t leave them alone to struggle. Don't assume they'll just get over it on their own. Help them when they ask. Just be a friend and love them well. Do whatever you can to let them know that there is hope!

6. If I know someone struggling, how do I love them well?

Pray for them. Pray with them. Support them and defend them when needed. Be there to listen if they need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on. Go with them to seek help if they need the moral support. Check in on them regularly. Don’t avoid them. Be present and be intentional. They need you and you can save a life!

Just today I read a very interesting article about the myths of suicide and mental illnesses.
From: http://www.afsp.org/news-events/in-the-news/understanding-suicide-myth-vs.-fact

Understanding Suicide: Myth vs. Fact

09/06/2013

Suicide is a serious public health problem that takes an enormous toll on families, friends, classmates, co-workers and communities, as well as on our military personnel and veterans. 

To understand why people die by suicide, and why so many others attempt to take their own lives, it is important to know the facts. Please read the facts about suicide below and share them with others.


Myth: Suicide can’t be prevented. If someone is set on taking their own life, there is nothing that can be done to stop them.
Fact: Suicide is preventable. The vast majority of people contemplating suicide don’t really want to die. They are seeking an end to intense mental and/or physical pain. Most have a mental illness. Interventions can save lives.

Myth: People who take their own life are selfish, cowards, weak or are just looking for “attention.”
Fact: More than 90% of people who take their own life have at least one and often more than one treatable mental illness such as depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and/or alcohol and substance abuse. With better recognition and treatment many suicides can be prevented.

Myth: Asking someone if they are thinking about suicide will put the idea in their head and cause them to act on it.
Fact: When you fear someone you know is in crisis or depressed, asking them if they are thinking about suicide can actually help. By giving a person an opportunity to open up and share their troubles you can help alleviate their pain and find solutions.

Myth: Teenagers and college students are the most at risk for suicide.
Fact: The suicide rate for this age group is below the national average. Suicide risk increases with age. Currently, the age group with the highest suicide rate in the U.S. is middle-aged men and women between the ages of 45 and 64. The suicide rate is still highest among white men over the age of 65.

Myth: Barriers on bridges, safe firearm storage and other actions to reduce access to lethal methods of suicide don’t work. People will just find another way.
Fact: Limiting access to lethal methods of suicide is one of the best strategies for suicide prevention. Many suicides can be impulsive and triggered by an immediate crisis. Separating someone in crisis from a lethal method (e.g., a firearm) can give them something they desperately need: time. Time to change their mind, time to resolve the crisis, time for someone to intervene.

Myth: Someone making suicidal threats won’t really do it, they are just looking for attention.
Fact: Those who talk about suicide or express thoughts about wanting to die, are at risk for suicide and need your attention. Most people who die by suicide give some indication or warning. Take all threats of suicide seriously. Even if you think they are just “crying for help”—a cry for help, is a cry for help—so help.

Myth: Talk therapy and/or medications don’t work.
Fact: Treatment can work. One of the best ways to prevent suicide is by getting treatment for mental illnesses such as depression, bipolar illness and/or substance abuse and learning ways to solve problems. Finding the best treatment can take some time, and the right treatment can greatly reduce risk of suicide. In fact, it can bring you back your life.