Showing posts with label Priorities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Priorities. Show all posts

Friday, September 5, 2014

In Over My Head

6 hours of doing nothing but trying to pull together a mediocre Ethos presentation. That's what I have been doing this Friday evening. I haven't been out with friends. I haven't been out on a date with my fiancé. No, I've been in my apartment trying to see my blank computer screen through the tears of defeat that just will not go away.

I wouldn't go as far to say that I'm any sort of genius, but I also know that I'm not dumb either. I typically am able to figure things out and I'm able to pull together pretty awesome presentations if I work hard enough. However, this Ethos presentation I have to give on Wednesday for my Persuasion class is kicking me down. Hard. For whatever reason, my brain just will not grasp whatever concept or objective I need to achieve. If I have no idea what the end goal is or what I'm supposed to be trying to do, how in the world do I even go about picking a topic?! Do you see why I've been trying to pull my hair out? I'm frustrated, discouraged, and defeated, and its only my 2nd week as a Communications major. Great, right?

Normally I'm not the type of pessimistic person who would let one bad night or one bad project discourage me this much. However, when this discouragement comes so soon after making a major change, its hard not to feel like I made a horrible mistake in switching my major. It doesn't really help or encourage me at all when the words from my professor are replaying in my mind as I sit here trying to figure out what to do for this presentation. See, I thought I was being proactive in going to meet with my professor and see if she could offer any guidance. What I didn't anticipate was coming out of there with a feeling of, "you have no business being a communications major if you can't survive this upper level speech course". Apparently, all of my ideas were that of a "lower level". Whatever that means. Is she right? What business do I have being a communications major? Every single person in every single one of my classes started out as Communications majors. They are going to eat me alive on Wednesday. And I won't have anything to say to defend myself because I know more than anyone how in over my head I am.

I can't help but ask myself as the tears of frustration spill over, "what am I doing? I just made a huge mistake." But then I remember how I made this decision to change majors in the first place. God wanted this for me. He was the one who called me to change my course of study. God wanted me to be a Communications major. And you know what else? God doesn't make mistakes. Ever. He never has, and He never ever will. Not with my life, and not with your life. This in over my head feeling is exactly where God needs me to be right now because I literally have no other option but to rely on Him. He wanted me to be exactly where I am right now to teach me that my own self reliance is stupid. The only way He was able to get that through my stubborn head was to put me in a situation where I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, and I had no way out of it. It's in the times when I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing that God teaches me how completely worthless I am on my own, and how trivial my own efforts are when I try to do things without Him.

My hands don't know what to type. My brain doesn't know what to produce. I am literally at a stand still as far as this presentation is concerned. The only thing I can do is wait for God to give me some sort of inspiration. He will give me the words. After all, it was His voice that called me here to this place. So instead of feeling like it was me who made a huge mistake to switch majors, I'm going to wipe away these tears of defeat and frustration and remember that it was God who called me to this, and it is God who will get me through it. Who cares if my professor thinks I have no business as a Communications major. Right now in this very moment, I am right where God wants me, and that's the only place I ever want to be.

At the end of the day, and at the end of my life, I know it won't really matter how this presentation turns out. What will matter is what I learn from this place God has me in at the moment. I suppose it will be a lesson of full reliance and surrender to Him- being comfortable with being uncomfortable. Something I am very not comfortable with.

I guess this is a time to practice what I preached in my previous post by focusing on what really matters. Put my stones in before my sand. And while homework is important for college students to work at, it certainly isn't a stone I would put in my jar before my family or spending time with Mitchell. Therefore, I am making the decision to close my computer and spend some quality time with one of my biggest and most important "stones"- my fiancé who has been nothing but patient, helpful, and unbelievably sweet to me today. He even surprised me with flowers! This Ethos presentation can wait until morning, because in the grand scheme of my life, its just a grain of sand in comparison to what really matters to me. Whatever grain of sand has you worried right now, my prayer for you is that you'll be able to let it go, at least for a little while to focus on the things that are most important to you, and most of all, spending time and energy on the things that are most important to God. That should be our biggest stone of all.

Thanks for taking the time to read my homework related rant. I'll be sure to let you know how the presentation ends of turning out, just in case you're interested. :) Until then.....

Keep calm and listen to some music while you put your stones before sand. ;)

Emily

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Stones before Sand

Blog Renamed!
For those of you who are leery of change, I'm sorry for the constant updating of my blog title. However, I firmly believe that as my life changes and goes in different directions, my blog posts are also going to change. This "Stones before Sand" Title may not be all that obvious or appealing, but I promise there is a point to it! For one thing, it is my new life motto, so every time I visit my blog to write new posts, I will be reminded of this motto. Visit my Stone Before Sand page and I can further explain this new motto and blog title. Hopefully after reading my explanation, the peculiar title will make more sense!


Home
At the beginning of the month, Mitchell and I made a trip home to Minnesota to spend a couple weeks with my family. It was a MUCH NEEDED break from the craziness of summer! I absolutely love long trips with Mitchell because it gives us time to talk, and talk, and talk and talk! We had 16+ hours to do nothing but just be together.


There was so much going on during the couple weeks we were home! Check it all out below!!

Alicia/Chandler's Wedding
My friends from high school, Chandler and Alicia, got MARRIED on August 2nd. Alicia and I were close during our cheerleading days and Chandler is one of the nicest guys I have ever met! I'M SO HAPPY for them! They were high school sweethearts and it was so nice to be there on their big day! CONGRATS Alicia and Chandler!

Engagement Party
My Godmother Kathy, Auntie Barb, and Auntie Betty  and their families, all came together and threw Mitchell and I an Engagement party! We are so grateful they decided to do this for us. It was so amazing to see everyone and for Mitchell to get to meet the rest of the family. We had so much fun!!!! We love you all!! Thank you so much for celebrating with us! For an update, check out our wedding website! 

Micayla and Jared had a Photo Booth set up and we all got a little crazy!! ;) Check out the picture evidence! 
 I've included some teasers below!!! ;)




Engagement pictures
We are so very happy with the way our Engagement pictures turned out. Scott from Lemar Photography did a great job of capturing some awesome shots! In addition to our engagement pictures, Matthew also took some senior picture shots. I can't believe my baby brother is already a senior. WHEN IN THE WORLD DID THAT HAPPEN?!!! I'm so gosh darn proud of him and I love my little brother like crazy!

Check out our WedPics Album to see all of our Engagement pictures. 
Here are some of our favorites!! 






Registering for Gifts 
Mitchell's favorite wedding activity by far was registering for gifts....he fantasized about how much fun he was going to have with the scanning gun!! Me, I'm so glad he was excited about this task because I really was not expecting him to be so enthused about it. There's one thing I've learned about planning a wedding, and that is that the groom typically doesn't get excited about too many of the details, so when they get excited about something, let them run with it! So....that's what I did. ;)

As you can tell, Mitchell and I went a little crazy....
I had so much fun beforehand reading all of my wedding planning books and seeing what I needed to register for and what I didn't really need. It was amazing being able to imagine and dream about our future life together. What did we want our kitchen to look like? What colors did we want our master bedroom to be? It was so exciting to think about and dream about our first home together! I can't wait to be MRS. STEELE!!! 264 DAYS!!!! 

Richman's Lake with Emma
I'm so very glad that Mitchell was finally able to meet our precious little flower girl Emma Lee Gavin. Emma and her mom Mary came to John and Marcia's lake with us for the weekend. We had a blast hanging out and our little flower girl.....WHAT A HOOT!!! She is full of spunk and sass and we just love her oodles and oodles. That weekend, Emma was having trouble distinguishing between "I don't know" and "I don't care", so every time she meant to say, "I don't know", she'd say "I don't care!" The perfect example was when I asked her, "Emma who is this (pointing to Mitchell)?" and she says boldly, "I DON'T CARE!" Oh the cuteness. Probably the best part was Emma telling her Papa John, "I'm going to tell on you!" when he told her it was time for bed. She stormed inside, but then a couple minutes later, Emma came outside to announce, "I'm BAAACK! See I TOLD YOU!" I think it was safe to say that her Papa John was surprised at his 2 year old granddaughter's burst of sass! It was thoroughly entertaining for the rest of us. :)




Robin Williams
On a more serious note, August 11th was a sad day for the whole world I think. Robin Williams tragically passed away. Even though I obviously didn't know him personally, it was heartbreaking to know that he was struggling with depression on such a deep level. He could've been saved. I've personally battled with depression, so my heart is heavy for anyone struggling with it. I could devote a whole entire post to this very subject, oh wait, I already did! If you want to hear more about my story and my thoughts on his passing, check out my previous post: Depression: Starting the Conversation.

New Semester! 
The night before Mitchell and I were leaving to head back to Nashville, I had a little mini meltdown at home. I thought I had gotten passed the whole homesick, bawling before I leave home every time thing, but for some reason, this time I was so so sad to leave! I was no nervous about starting classes and being in a completely new major, I felt sick to my stomach. I honestly didn't even want to come back- I told my mom that I wanted to just stay at home and plan Mitchell and I's wedding full-time. Sadly, that wouldn't help me make it to graduation. I eventually sucked it up but I was scared to death. I had no idea what this new major was going to be like, and I'd be lying if I wasn't questioning my decision to change.

Less than 3 weeks later.....I have now been a Communications major for 2 weeks and so far, I'm LOVING it. It really is perfect for me, and I feel like I really fit in more in this field of study. I'm fascinated every day by words and how people interact and communicate. There is a little bit of a learning curve just because most people have been Comm majors from the very beginning. I'm working hard to close that gap and I'm learning so much every single day. Time will tell for sure, but for now, I'm very happy with my decision to switch majors! I'm so happy God led me to that decision. It's definitely been a blessing so far!

This semester is very different from the last 2 semester have been for Mitchell and I in that our days are spent completely apart. We were spoiled the last 2 semesters. We were blessed that we were able to have all the same classes and spend most of our days in class together and then our evenings were spent together studying. It's been an adjustment for sure, but I'm thankful that I get to see his smiling face in time for dinner every night! I actually get to ask the question, "how was your day?" because I didn't spend my entire day with him! It makes our time together all that more special for sure!

Back as Interns
After the first couple weeks of August at home, I was able to get back to working at Show Hope! I was SO happy to walk through those doors the first day back at school. I told everyone in the office that it was so nice to have a sense of familiarity in my day to balance out the new major change. I walked in those doors and felt so calm and peaceful. I knew what I was doing there. I'm so glad to be back working with our advocates program and helping out the Comm team again. Plus, there is a whole new set of interns to get to know this semester and they're all awesome! I love being a part of the Show Hope family!!

Mitchell started a brand new internship this semester at Capitol Christian Music Group in Brentwood. I am SO proud of him for this internship. He always wanted to work at Capitol one day and now he is their intern! So far, he is enjoying it! He always comes home with a smile on his face, so that's a good sign, right? :) Plus, he gets to hang around a bunch of Steven Curtis Chapman's gold records all day. Win-win for him!

T.Swift webcast
The moment me, along with millions of other Swifites, have been waiting 2 WHOLE YEARS for finally arrived! Taylor Swift announced her new album 1989!!

COMING OCTOBER 27th!!! 

People were SO up and arms because this is her first official POP album! Does that really surprise any of us? Not really. It would annoy me to no end when people would say, "she's sooo not country". So what? I really don't care what genre Taylor Swift is just as long as she keeps writing songs. Hate on her all you want but this girl understands and knows how to work the music business. Anyone who wants to disagree with me can take it up with her bank account which indicates she made over $64 million as of June 2014. She must be doing something right. I'm a #Swiftieforlyfe. 

Gracie Steele and I watched the live video stream together....well, not technically together but we video chatted while I watched it on the way back to Nashville. I'm telling you....there were MULTIPLE fan girl freak out moments. She had so many surprises! A NEW ALBUM!!! AHHHHH! A NEW SINGLE!!!! AHHHH!!! A NEW MUSIC VIDEO!!! AHHH!!!!! And we all know what's coming next, right?  A NEW TOUR!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!! 

CHECK OUT TAYLOR'S NEW MUSIC VIDEO FOR 
"SHAKE IT OFF"

If you decided to crawl under a rock during her WORLDWIDE LIVE VIDEO STREAM, you can watch a recap of all of the secrets she revealed and catch yourself up on this very important information. 


YOU GO MAMA!
Okay, now we're getting into the part of this month's post where I will be introducing you to some of my life heroes. One of my biggest heroes is my mama. She is my inspiration on my journey to get healthy and start taking better care of myself! I cannot believe that she has lost 50lbs since this spring! She looks AMAZING!! I was talking to her the other day and I told her that she now only looks WAY thin, but she looks healthier and she looks happier! I am SO SO SO proud of my mama and I'm so happy that she decided to start taking good care of herself! YOU GO MAMA!!


One day when we were back home in Minnesota, I had a meeting with Lori from Lovin'Nutrition. She has me hooked on Herbalife protein shakes! YUM!!! Although I have been drinking them for awhile, I hadn't really taken steps to lose weight or get healthier with them, I just liked to drink them because they tasted good. However, today I had a fitness consultation with Lori where she put me on a plan to help me drop 10lbs by Christmas break. She seems confident that with 2 shakes a day and an exercise plan, I'll reach my goal and feel like a million bucks! Can't wait to see what happens. :) I'm so ready to take charge of my health and get in shape. I'm sick and tired of just talking about it; I'm ready to actually DO something about it and see results for the first time. See, my problem is I always quit before I see any results because I'm impatient with myself. I have to learn patience and perseverance!

This is my absolute FAVORITE flavor: Cookies and Cream....YUMMY!!! 



I've also started a brand new fitness program called PIYO. 3 days in and I'm loving it!! If it isn't obvious based on the name, its a perfect combination of Pilates and Yoga. It's been kicking my butt but I love it! I was looking for something a bit less "jumpy and punchy", more low impact. This was a perfect find for me!



He is Home
The man who loves me more than anyone in the whole world. Mitchell Dan Steele. This guy goes above and beyond for me every single day, and I know that he would do anything to make me happy. He makes a bad day good, and a good day even better. He was the one there to talk me off a cliff when I thought I had made the biggest mistake of my life by changing my major. He was there through the most challenging and emotionally exhausting spring and summer of my entire life. He has been the rock I so desperately need to keep me grounded and secure. He makes me feel beautiful every single day, and he makes me feel like the most loved girl on the planet. I love him oh so much and he is the best thing that has ever happened to me! Love you Mitchell!



Life in a glass jar
Another one of my role models is someone I've been watching on television since I was literally one year old. She played DJ Tanner on Full House, but now she is a full-time mom, wife, author, actress, producer, and wholesome Christian role model! I read her book "Reshaping it All" and you can check out my thoughts on that on my Books I Love page. In addition to having 2 AWESOME books, she goes around speaking and sharing her INCREDIBLE testimony. I can't even tell you how inspiring she has been in my life. There were many lightbulb moments for me as I read her book and heard her testimony, but one point in particular really stuck out to me and I actually shared what I was inspired to do because of it......

In her book, Candace talks about this concept of life being like a glass jar. In my life, I have stones, which are the things that take up the most time and energy- our priorities, the things that are the most important to me and that we have to make time for every single day. My stones are the things that go into my jar first, meaning they are what you put first before anything else. No matter what else I have going on, I put your stones in first.  For example, here are my stones:

My stones include: My daily devotional time, prayer time, Bible study,
Mitchell-time together, music, hobbies, daily workouts and healthy eating, work and
studying for school, intentionality in my relationships, Bedtime prayers with Mitchell,
laughter, and not forgetting to have FUN! 

In addition to stones, we all have "sand" that comes up in life. Sand is all of that stuff that comes up that still takes time and energy, but isn't one of our stones. It isn't life or death. It isn't a big priority, or at least it shouldn't be. Sand is what goes in after all of your stones are in your jar. It's very important that I put your stones in first. Why? I'll tell you....

See, I don't know if any of you are like me but I tend to let the little stuff bother me. Or I make the little stuff a bigger deal than it is. Often times, I fill my "life" or my jar with the sand first. I work tirelessly until my jar is completely full of sand. What's the problem in that? Well, if I fill my entire day, my entire jar, my entire LIFE with sand, I have absolutely no room for the stones. BUT, amazingly enough, if I put the stones in my jar first, the sand falls into place where there is room in between the stones. If my "stones" go in first, the sand will fall into place and my priorities are in order the way they should be. Makes sense doesn't it? This was a lightbulb moment for me! So much so, I wanted a constant reminder of it. I made myself my own little "life jar" that serves as a reminder to put "stones before sand". So far, it's helped me stay focused on what really matters, and the funny thing is, I feel 100x more productive when I put my stones first than when I used to try and fit as much sand in my jar as possible. 





I am going to keep this concept of my life in a glass jar on my "Stones before Sand" page as a reminder to myself as well as to ya'll who may need the reminder for time to time to focus your attention on your stones first, and let the sand fill in the cracks. It really will amaze you how things fall into place when you are faithful about putting what's most important first.

30 Day Challenge

In lei of reading a hardcover book for this month's book update, I decided to take Chalene Johnson's 30 Day Challenge. She is quickly becoming another life inspiration. I just finished day 12 and let me just tell you....this is a game changer! Seriously, I was VERY skeptical of this going into it, but I'm honestly so thankful I decided to go ahead with it!
Here is what I've done so far as part of my 30 Day Challenge:
1. Priority Clarity Statement: it may seem cheesy and "self helpy" but I'm serious when I say it has helped so much. Chalene had techniques to dig deep and make my top priority crystal clear so that literally every single thing I do flows from this one statement.
2. PUSH Goal: a push goal is the one goal on your whole entire list of goals that makes the other goals possible. It is the one thing that, hence the name, pushes you to accomplish the rest of your goals. Again, it may seem cheesy until you actually identify it based on your clarity statement, and again, everything you do is in line with your top priority and PUSH goal.
3. Push Goal Promise: I made a push goal promise to my mom, Mitchell, and all my blog readers to keep me accountable. Check out my 30 Day Challenge page to view my promise I made!
4. To-Do Lists: Anyone who knows me knows that I am the to-do list queen! So why is it that I can never ever ever seem to accomplish everything on my to-do list? Well, it turns out I was going about making my lists all wrong. I'm not giving away any secrets though. If you want to find out the answer, Take the 30 Day Challenge! 
5. Positive Reminders: My positive reminders come from scripture.

Psalm 139:14 
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 
your works are wonderful, I know that full well." 

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. 
"Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you. 
Plans to give you a hope and a future."

Philippians 4:13 
"I can do all things through Christ who gives me Strength."


Prayer Focus for this next month: 


Intentionality (if that's a word??) 
I'm praying to be intentional about investing time and energy into the people in my life. Whether they are near or far, doing better about staying in touch and being intentional in my relationships.

The Ability to Let Go and Let God! 
I'm praying for the ability to let go of things I can't control. I need to learn how to trust God more completely, and let Him take care of me. And also, needing to let go of the little things. 21 year olds shouldn't be worried 24/7 365 days of the year. It's okay to let go of worries and cares every once in awhile and have fun!!

I will keep them posted on my Online Prayer Journal. If you have any prayer requests, feel free to contact me! 


Well....I think that's all there is for now. August was a pretty busy month, but I have no doubt that September will be as well. That's just kind of the way life goes, isn't it? We're doing our best to focus on the important "stones" in our lives first. I pray that all of you reading this can do the same. Let's remember to always put our "stones before sand...."

Here's my August Playlist! 


-Emily