The Blessing of Family

It's been a week since my father went home to be with Jesus. In many ways I feel as though this hole in my heart has been there a lot longer than that. In other ways, I feel as if this week has literally flown by because of the many things to do this week and all of the people around our house.

Losing my dad has been the single most gut-wrenching, excruciating, horribly painful experiences of my entire life. I can't even begin to think about it because the pain threatens to completely paralyze me. The fact is, I'm not ready to openly share about it all yet. What I do want to share with you is one of the many blessings I have witnessed as a result of the worst event of my life. Yes, I did say blessings because even though time has been awful, there have been many blessings along the way. As I feel led, I will be sharing them. One of the biggest blessings was the graceful way in which two families were joined as one with a bond that God himself sealed and made to last forever.

When we were up in Fargo when dad was in the hospital, we stayed at my Uncle Steve and Aunt Darlene's house. I'm so beyond grateful we had a home to stay at instead of a hotel. Even now I believe wholeheartedly that they were acting as angels that week. They stayed at the hospital with us and often times gave us guidance when the medical terminology was too much for us to understand. But even more than that, it was so comforting coming home to a home-cooked meal, our dog Max, the warmth of a fireplace, a hot bubblebath and massage, and the welcoming embrace of two family members who love my dad as much as I do. My uncle Steve and aunt Darlene are one of the many blessings that God gave us during this time. We will always remember everything they did for us and how they walked along side us every step of the way.

It's not that the Berndt's and the Sipe's didn't know each other before this. They did. We've been together for various events such as graduations and other holidays and events. However, those events have never bonded us the way in which these last couple of weeks have. I can't really describe what it means to us knowing that our two families have merged into one big loving support system. It's amazing to see God's hand in uniting us in such a deep way. And while I wish with all of my heart that my dad was still here, there is no denying that God is working for our God even in this horribly tragic situation.

I have never in my life experienced death this close to home. It's completely shocking and scary to be honest. Now I know why you need so many people around in these times because all I want to do is lay around and cry. Having so many people around helps keep our spirits up.

My cousin Kate perhaps said it best. She walked up to my uncle Steve and said, "I've always known you guys but not like this. I've really grown to love you. Will I ever see you again?" To that, my uncle and aunt said that of course we would see each other again! I'm so glad it's not just me who feels that this bond was made between the Sipe's and the Berndt's. I really hope it lasts forever. I was telling Mitchell the night after dad's funeral. I said how I really honestly felt like I have one family now instead of a "mom's side" and a "dad's side". Again, I see this as another HUGE blessing.

Another huge blessing that I cannot forget to mention....having Mitchell's mother and father here for the week. I was surprised by how hard I cried when I saw them! I was so happy they were here and I know Mitchell was as well. One of the many things that breaks my heart about all of this is the fact that his parents never had the blessing of meeting my dad. Boy, do I feel sorry for anyone who didn't know him! But at the same time, they were able to hear story after story about how kind, loving, caring, and faithful my dad was. They were able to witness the impact my dad had on not just our family, but our entire community. They were able to experience the deep love my family has for my dad and for each other. Also, they were able to meet the rest of the family this week, so now the wedding will be a, "hey, good to see you again!" instead of a "nice to meet you." This is something we are definitely counting as another blessing.

I'm so grateful to God for the way in which he is working for the good of us all, even in this painful experience of losing our dad. I'm beyond amazed by the way in which he brought our family together so beautifully and bonded us in such a real and deep way. When I think ahead to our next big family event, it will probably be Mitchell and I's wedding. While that day still brings tears to my eyes because I know that my dad won't be there in person, I'm so thankful that our family was brought together now to make our wedding day even more special.

Our family not only knows each other now, they love each other. How extremely fitting that it was dad who brought us together like this. He's still teaching us how to love! This whole experience has taught me the importance of family. There are so many things in life that we pour so much time and energy into that just don't matter. Our faith in God and our family (and friends that are like family!) are the things that are getting us through this, and they are what truly matter.

Praise be to God for the gift of family! I'm so thankful for the blessings. I truly feel that I have one big family now, whether you are a Sipe or a Berndt, or a Lesnar or a Friebe, it doesn't really matter. We all have one thing in common, we love Randy Berndt, and together, we are Team Randy!

There are many more blessings, and as I feel led, I will share more. But for now, do me a favor and go hug your dad and tell him you love him.