Life is Better in the Light

I really I hope I don't jink it by saying this but, I think spring is officially here in Nashville! How do I know this? Well, I'm currently sitting outside in the green grass wearing nothing but a sundress next to a fountain this is NO LONGER FROZEN! Sundresses and green grass mean spring in my book. Mitchell left me on this perfect spot on the lawn to go work on a group project, but before he left, he told me, "just let yourself enjoy your time in the sun." As he said this, it dawned on me. I'm the only one standing in my own way of enjoying my time in the sun.

How crazy am I that I wouldn't' want to go outside on a day like today when it's 70 degrees and sunny without a single cloud in the sky? 15 minutes ago I was laying in my bed in the same position I had been in for over 3 hours. Depressed and just tired. Why? I guess I'm tired because that's what college does to you, but I think I'm tired because I've been in survival mode for the past few months. I'm depressed because I miss my dad. Mitchell bless his heart tries his best to make me go outside on days like today and enjoy the sun. And as hard as I try to stay under the covers where it's "safe", I always end up happier when I feel the sun on my skin and smell the green grass. Life is better when we get out of our own way, come out from under the covers and give ourselves permission to enjoy life in the sun.  Life is better in the sun. Life is better in the light.

As I sit here in the sun, I realized something else. A part of me, maybe even a subconscious part of me felt as if it was too early to feel happy. Like it's too soon for me to enjoy my time in the sun. After all, I'm still grieving. What kind of daughter would I be if I was able to be happy so soon after tragically losing my dad? I look up to the sky and I'm almost ashamed that I've given myself permission to enjoy a day like today.

Then, it hits my heart that enjoying my time in the sun is exactly what my dad would want me to do! That's what he is doing right now- enjoying his time in the presence of the Light! Perhaps it is a way of honoring him and the God who created such beautiful things to enjoy days like this and take in every moment like this. So I put to rest the thought inside of me that says its too soon to enjoy my time in the sun, and I lay back and bask in the sunshine and enjoy rest in the Light. Because after all, life really is better in the Light.

Choose light my friends, even when the darkness is overpowering. The light is closer than you think, and if you're blessed like me, there are people in your life just waiting to take you by the hand and lead you to a safe spot in the grass, where the light can shine on your face and you too can enjoy your time in the sun.

Sending you all love and sunshine.

-Emily