Blog Renamed!
Thank you for coming back to read more about what God's been doing in my life. The first change you may notice....my blog has a new name! That's right. I felt it was time to change things up a bit. For one thing, most of my blog posts have been more and more about Hope (adoption, Show Hope) and less and less about music. I figured the name change was appropriate. Don't get me wrong now. Music....I'm still in love with it. I will be posting music that I love and inserting songs all over the place so for all you music readers out there, not to worry. I just wanted my blog title to be about more than just that one passion of mine. Instead, I wanted my blog title to convey my heart's greatest desire in life. That is, to show hope to anyone and everyone who needs it. My prayer is that through this blog, you will find your own piece of hope. :)Time at Home
I believe my last post left off the night my younger brother Matthew went to prom. I still can't believe that 1.) he's old enough to be going to prom and 2.) He was actually talked into going to prom. Despite my disbeliefs, he indeed went, and I have pictures to prove it.
Oh yeah, my sister Carmen went to prom too. She looked absolutely beautiful, and it wasn't just because she's wearing my dress. ;)
Mother's Day
I'm so happy that I was able to be home for Mother's Day. This picture includes some of the best mothers I have ever known. I'm so blessed to have such incredible role-models and I love them all so very much.
My Grandma Marilyn, Godmother Kathy, Great Grandma Margaret Hanson (whom I'm named after!) and my mother, Jana. Oh yeah, and the little adorably cute baby is me! :)
The Band Perry – Mother Like Mine
Some of my lovely bridesmaids! Annie, Madisen, and Katie.
I'm so happy these two are my maids of honor! Sisters at heart from the start!
Time at home always seems to fly by way too fast. I'm grateful for the time I was able to spend with my family; I was genuinely sad to leave them. After two weeks of being home, I was off to Pennsylvania to see my honey and spend some time with the Steeles! I was so excited to see them again and to spend some time in North Carolina!
Family Vacation
Okay, those of you who know me know that I'm pretty much one of the biggest book worms on the planet. If you didn't know that about me, well then SURPRISE! Now you do. I'm so happy that I have a mother who introduced me to Nicholas Sparks romance novels at a young age. All of his novels are set in North Carolina and it has been my life dream ever since I started reading them to go there. When Mitchell invited me to go along with his family to the Outer Banks, I was literally elated!!
Our house was named Pineapple Place!
#selfie
There are so many things I could write about this family vacation. It was an opportunity to grow together, and that I believe we did. I feel like I walked away with a better understanding of every family member. With more understanding, comes an ability to love on a much, much deeper level. My prayer is that I'm able to grow more and more as a member of this family, and learn to love them more and more each day.
You see the love this family has? Yeah, its real. Here are some pictures from our Beach Photo Shoot! :)
Oh Kelli. This girl and I have already been through so much as sisters.
What I've gained from it all is an understanding and genuine love for her.
Gracie, you are the best.
I love this whole having sisters thing!
This is us in a nutshell.
And this one too.
Friday has become sort of like our "date day"and so on the Friday of vacation, Mitchell took me on a date to a beach where he and I just got to spend the whole day together. It was wonderful. :) That day just happened to be the 23rd of May, the 365 day mark. 365 days until our wedding. As we were sitting there on the beach, we looked over to the left and saw a wedding happening right there before our eyes. It made me cry just watching this wedding happen because all I could think about was the fact that that was going to be us in ONE YEAR! It was a beautiful moment for us and I'm so happy we had the chance to see that. Whoever the happy couple was, I'm so honored we were invited to witness their wedding. ;)
On our way home from the beach, we took a side trip to Washington D.C. I'm SO happy they know me so well and knew that I have this crazy (borderline weird) amount of love for our nation's capital. I was in heaven!!
World War II Memorial. Yes, they let you stand in it!! How cool is that?!
The Washington Memorial
The Lincoln Memorial
Oh sweet vacation. You were over too soon. Now, Mitchell and I are back in Nashville and trying to figure out how to cope with this new crazy schedule of ours. All good things....it's just a lot, especially for two kids who have always loved summer vacation. :) We both have 4 classes we are taking this summer. The 1 on campus is our Music Publishing class. 3 are online. In addition to class, both of us are interning full-time. Mitchell is still at RareSpark Media Group and he is rocking it! I started my new internship at Show Hope! Speaking of....let me fill you in on my first week as a Show Hope intern.
Show Hope
I was welcomed with open arms. When you walk in the doors of Show Hope, you can feel this incredible peace and love in the air. Everyone there is friendly and welcoming. Everyone there is like this bright light shining. From the first minute I spent there, I felt so blessed to be a part of the family. I believe so much in the work they do and it feels like a dream come true that its now part of the work I get to do every day. God is good!!
I didn't waste any time decorating my desk. :)
Sitting at my new desk in my new cubicle is my Family figurine. It was given to me by my mother as a reminder that the most important thing is family. Boy, was she right in giving me this.
My new internship at Show Hope started on Monday. I cannot even begin to explain how much it is blessing my heart being here every day. This is a place where I'm reminded every single second how important family is, and also how important it is to care for those who don't know the love of a forever family. Each person here shares the same heart for orphans and family. It's an unbelievable thing to be a part of. I knew I needed a job that I could go to every day and not only feel like I'm making a difference but actually be able to see it in a tangible way. God is answering this prayer through my work at Show Hope. I'm able to connect with people who have been touched by adoption through grants and care centers. I'm touched every day by the number of sponsors and advocates moved to do something to restore hope to orphans. Their heart and passion to help is so encouraging! Lives are being changed....and I get to be a part of it!
Just the other day I was sorting through scrapbooks that were made for children staying at Maria's Big House of Hope (a care center/hospital in China). Their nannies and care givers documented every part of their life in this scrapbook to later give to the family that adopts them. We received a whole box full of scrapbooks, craft projects, Christmas ornaments, and old medical records. As I sat there sorting through everything, tears pricked my eyes and I saw the pictures and read these stories of these children's lives. All of them have been through so much and have come so far, and they now know the love of a forever family. It warms my heart and makes me so thankful for organizations like Show Hope that make that possible.
I've only been here a week and already I'm learning so much! About adoption, grants, care centers, politics, history, culture, child protection laws....you name it. I have told Mitchell multiple times that this information will serve us well later in life when we start down the path of bringing our daughter, Hope home from China. I'm surrounded by a community of people who are familiar with adoption, and who have also adopted their own children. I cannot even tell you how comforting that is to me to know that they are here to walk with us through the process. God without a doubt placed me here to give me the comfort He knew I needed and will need down the road. He is faithful! This internship is blessing me. I wish I could stay here forever....
Hope
Hope. I see her name everywhere. Literally. Every single day I see her name on everything I touch. I think about her every day. Ever single day I think about her and how I just want so badly to have her as my own. I want so badly to be her mama. I want so badly to save her from anything bad that might happen to her before Mitchell and I get to her. She is in my thoughts all of the time now. Every scrapbook I went through, I wondered if she will have her own when we get her. Every testimony I read, I think about how we will get to write ours when we finally bring her home. I can't wait until our family can be used to share a message of hope to others wanting to adopt.
Isn't it crazy to think that I love somebody this much whom I've never met and very well may not even be born yet? No, my daughter may not even be alive yet but she is a thought in God's mind, and a though in mine. I can't fully explain how it's possible for me to love her right now but I do. Based on how much both Mitchell and I already love her, I'm willing to bet that she is going to be the most loved little girl on the planet! Mitchell and I will write notes to her and when she is old enough to understand how God gave her to us, we will share with her that journal. It's so important for her to know that we longed for, desired her, and prayed for her long before we started the adoption process. I end every single post by saying, "Hope Susann, we are crazy about you and can't wait to be your mama and daddy! You'll be home soon."
Facing Giants
Our paster Pete from Cross Point spoke a message on facing giants. Let me give you some context on that. It was part of a message series on having these God-given dreams placed on your heart. He gave 4 typical phases of a dream: become aware, face opposition, endure difficulties, learn surrender. The first week was all about becoming aware of this God given dream. It was about listening to God and obeying when he places these things on your heart. For me, it was realizing that God's plans are better than mine. I've seen the beautiful things in my own life that God can do with a life once it is given over to Him. The first step is simply becoming aware of what God wants to do in and with your life. For me, I believe wholeheartedly that God wants me to be a part of the movement to care for orphans through my work at Show Hope, and through our own adoption journey.
The next week, was all about facing giants. Based on the story of David and Goliath, its important for us to also acknowledge that BIG DREAMS have BIG FIGHTS. Giants can come in many forms. Whether it's a lack of resources (money, education), an opposing group (friends family), intimidating circumstances (health and other), or internal giants (fear, self doubt, discouragement). The fact of the matter is when God gives you a big dream, the world is going to come at you with all kinds of giants. When you're willing to step out in Faith to do something big for God's kingdom, the enemy himself is going to throw every type of roadblock in your way to discourage you from going through with it. Just take my life as an example. When I first had this feeling that God was leading me towards a different life than the one I had planned for myself, I faced (and am still facing) all kinds of giants. I was afraid of what my family would say. I was afraid of how Mitchell and I would afford to adopt. I was afraid that I wasn't qualified. I faced all kinds of difficulties on my way to work at Show Hope, but it was because I knew God wanted me there that I was able to press on. See, our giants are never going to go away on their own. You can either let them stop you, or let God fight them on your behalf. I had to make a decision with my life right then and there when all these giants were punching me in the face. Was I going to have a giant focus or a God focus? Was I going to cry to God about how big my problems are or am I going to tell my problems how big my God is? I chose to adopt what Pete called a God-focus, and it has been a freeing experience for me. I'm able to live out these God-given dreams without the fear of the giants in my way.
It is no secret that God has done a HUGE changing of my heart. It was a complete life changer for me. Suddenly, what I came here to go to school for didn't seem to matter as much. Making a name for myself in the Music Industry lost its appeal, and I began reading about how I could prepare myself for our adoption, homeschool curriculums, and how to be a good help mate for Mitchell. My life has become about so much more than the name I can make for myself in Nashville, or the type of industry job I can land. I realized that God is way more concerned with the kind of wife and mother I become than the job I have. My entire focus has completely shifted to something completely different, and I feel like I'm able to see God way more clearly than I ever have before. It's been amazing, but I would be lying if I said it didn't scare me sometimes. What scares me is not the unknown; I know God has got my back. What scares me sometimes is the fact that I'm SO okay with it. God decided to do these things in my heart and I didn't even have to think twice about obeying. When did I become that kind of person who follows first and asks questions later? When did I become the type of girl who steps out in faith without letting her giants hold her back a little bit first? That's the power of our God. He is able to change us without us even being aware of it happening at the time. One day, we just look back on our lives and we are left standing in awe of the beautiful work He's done.
My biggest giant by far was dealing with the fact that God has a plan for my life, but so does everybody else. When their plan doesn't line up with God's, their natural tendency is to question it, or try and hold me back simply because they don't understand. They don't do it intending to be malicious. Often times they may not even realize they're doing it. It's that classic notion that what we don't understand scares us. There are many people in my life who simply do not understand what God is doing with my life. They don't understand why I went to Belmont to study Music Business when God isn't even calling me to work in the Music Industry anymore. They don't understand why I would pay thousands of dollars to go to an expensive school, only to decide that I want to stay at home and raise my kids full-time when there is such a thing as daycare. They don't understand why I would want to homeschool my kids when there are plenty of good schools I could send them to. They don't understand our call to adopt. They simply don't understand that it's not me deciding to do all these things. The only decision I made was to let God start guiding my life, and this is the story He is writing. The thing is, while I know that these giants exist in my life, I have not wavered in what God has called me to do. I'm still going to stay at home full-time and raise my kids. I'm still going to homeschool. Mitchell and I are still going to adopt. What God calls us to He will equip us for. I have to trust Him. No questions asked.
Francesca Battistelli – Giants Fall
Enduring Delays
I am not the most patient woman in the world. Mitchell is laughing out loud right now because he knows it is true. God is teaching me and I'm working at it, but it's dang hard. Another phase of a God-given dream is to endure delays. That's right where I am. I believe God is taking care of my giants so I can learn how to learn patience during this delay He has us in.
Delay #1: Our wedding is in 348 days, and while people tell me the time will fly, it feels like a long ways out. I'm just so ready to be married, but I'm just trusting that God has more to do with us in these days before.
Delay #2: He's called me to be a stay at home mom. Great! I don't have any kids yet. Thus, a delay. I'm just focusing on having patience in the meantime and being open to what He wants me to do in the midst of this delay.
Delay #3: He's called us to homeschool. Again, awesome! But if we don't have any kids to homeschool, we're in the delay stage of this dream too.
Delay #4: The biggest dream and delay of all. The call to adopt. For one thing, to adopt from China, Mitchell and I have to both be 30 years old before we can even start the process. Then, the wait period can be as long as 10 years! So, if you're any good at math, that's around 20 years that God could be delaying this dream for us. Talk about a test of patience!
What keeps me from going literally insane during delays is knowing that there must be a good reason for them. If these things aren't happening in my life right now, then there must be more He needs to do in my heart before they can happen. It's an incredible test of trust to remain faithful during delays, but then I remember that God's timing is best.
Francesca Battistelli – Time In Between
Thoughts on Adoption
I was talking to my friend, Katie one night about adopting and how we feel so strongly that God wants us to do it. She brought up an interesting point. So many people I think, view adoption as a last resort. You know, they think adoption is only for people who can't have kids of their own. While adoption is a beautiful blessing for those individuals, it isn't the only reason God calls people to adopt. James 1:27 very clearly states that we are ALL called to care for the orphans and widows. While we may not all be called to adopt, we all can do something.
I read an incredible blog post a few weeks back. Show Hope has a guest blogger, Stefanie and she wrote a beautiful piece, Why Does God Call People to Adopt?? It was killer and I will be saving it forever. Please, check it out and follow more of Stefanie's posts at: nihaoyall.com
I really would encourage you to read her whole post; it really is wonderful. There were a couple things about it that stood out to me and hit my heart hard. It's like she knew exactly what God was doing in my heart and then wrote about it. There is so much comfort found in the fact that I'm not the first person God has decided to call through this.
"When we adopt, it's God's idea. It is God that's going in- and He asks us to join Him. And God wants to use all things to draw us closer to Him, not elevate ourselves. The beautiful thing about being God's assistant in this thing called adoption is that you get to join in His work, get your hands dirty, see the way the Lord transforms and yet He holds up both ends."
The first sentence even made me stop and just stare. There are people out there I'm willing to bet that think this whole adoption thing is just something people wake up one day and decide to do. Or, they think it's just a fad or the "cool Christian" thing to do. Not so. It is a HIGH, HIGH calling. It's a calling that you can try and bury somewhere deep in your own heart but once He lays it there, you cannot hide from it, you cannot erase it. You have no choice but to obey it. Is it scary? Yes. But I can tell you that I've never once doubted it. Despite others in my life who have and who have even tried to talk me out of it, I have not doubted that this is the journey God is asking Mitchell and I to join Him on. God is already preparing my heart for the biggest journey of my life, and He's starting now through my work at Show Hope. When I stop and really think about this call to adopt, I think how God is using me to rescue and save the life of one of His beloved children. I don't see that as a burden or a heavy task that can be checked off the list to earn me gold stars in heaven. No. This call to adopt is an honor. Being Hope's mama is going to be one of the greatest honors of my life, and I can't wait!
"So if you are called to adopt, count yourself greatly blessed. As bearers of the Good News, called to adoption, we get to participate in His magnificent plan to redeem what this broken world has trampled on. What a merciful and loving God we serve. And if the journey gets difficult- and it will- just remember, it's His thing, this orphan care movement. And He will finish what He has started. Because these children are His beloved."
I do count us greatly blessed that God chose us as His beloved people to care for one of His beloved children. It is by God's goodness and grace alone that Mitchell and I get to raise Hope to love and know Jesus, and to love her to the best of our ability. This whole orphan movement is God's thing. He has instilled in so many people a heart for the fatherless and it is absolutely amazing to be a part of it. Still, it can feel hopeless at times. There are so many children in the world without loving families and the barriers to adoption can be high. I find comfort in the fact that God is the one who started this movement to care for orphans. It wasn't a man made thing. No. God MOVED and WORKED in the hearts of his people to care for the fatherless. He BEGAN this good work in us, and HE will finish what He started. He promises us that.
Steven Curtis Chapman – Finish What He Started
"And when we obey the call and join Him in His story we realize THIS is what we were made for. We were made for so much more than serving ourselves and pursuing our dreams. Instead, He comes down, changes our hearts and changes our dreams. And His plan is so.much.better."
I swear, this post could have come straight from my mouth. My life has changed so drastically that I don't even know if I'd recognize the me I was a year or two ago. God has moved in amazing ways and has chosen to work through me in amazing ways. The way my life is now is nothing like I planned. I would not have been able to guess that this is where I would be if you would've asked me. My plans would've put me on an entirely different path. My life is a testament to the fact that God's plans our way better than my own. I reached a point where I was ready to follow HIS plan. My dreams no longer mattered. He came down and changed my heart in such a way that I no longer hold on tight to any of my plans but I'm open to whatever He has in store for me. If you're looking for a way to rid yourself of some stress and pressure, give your future over to God. I can't even tell you how good it feels to know that my entire life....my marriage, my family, my Hope, my eternity are all in HIS hands now.
June Prayer Focus
Please join with us in praying for Jaspher, Show Hope's June Prayer Focus.
I feel so blessed that I'm able to share my life with you here. Thank you for taking the time to check in! Until next time, Keep Calm and Listen to Music!
Showing Hope,
Emily
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