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It's been so long since I've written an update, where did I even leave off the last time? I suppose it was right before Mitchell and I were getting ready to leave Belmont. Oh man. What a bittersweet time that was! On the one hand, I was extremely happy to be leaving college. There were so many exciting things ahead. But I have to admit that there was a piece of me that was feeling nostalgic. After all, that's where we met each other, that's where we fell in love, and that's where all of our best friends still go to school. There's no doubt about it that Belmont blessed both of our lives. Both of our families were able to make it to Nashville for graduation. I'm so glad they were all here. There was one person in particular though, who was missed very much. My dad. Oh man. Just typing that brings tears to my eyes. I remember being backstage, ready to march in with the other graduates and a hall monitor said to us, "isn't this the happiest day of your life?" At that moment, that's not what I was thinking. I wished more than anything that my dad could be there to see me graduate from college. I cried throughout the entire ceremony, but I ran with Randy across that stage and I know how proud my dad was!
That same weekend, we had to move all of our stuff out of Belmont and into our new home in Brentwood. How exciting.....our first home together! We found our place a few months earlier but it all started to become so real once we started moving our own things into this empty apartment. So full of hope and possibilities! Our families helped so much with the moving, the organizing, and the settling in. Box by box we're making this new house into a home. :) One of my favorite things about our new home is the furniture we got from my old house. Mom gave us the living room furniture and it's now in Mitchell and I's living room. I told Mitchell the other day that it feels like a piece of my childhood home is in our home now. It may sound silly or morbid (or maybe both) but our furniture reminds me of my dad. Because there were so many nights I remember sitting with him on that couch watching tv or talking. That's where he would sit late at night and read. Now every time I sit in that couch or see if once I walk through the door, it feels a little bit like the home my parents created for me when I lived with him. And I can't really explain it all that well, but it blesses my heart more than words can say to have that special touch in our new home as a new family just starting out.
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Let's see....so we graduated and started moving, then we stopped moving, flew home to Minnesota and got married! Quite honestly, I don't even know where to begin when trying to document or talk about our wedding weekend. In some ways it was a blur, and absolute blur. But then in other ways, I remember it all so clearly, and thinking about it, I just can't help but cry. It was a weekend full of love. Truly, I have never felt God's love so strongly in my life than I did on our wedding day. I've also never ever felt my dad's presence so strongly since he's been gone than I did that day, and that whole weekend. To have our entire family together was fun in and of itself, but to be together for such an amazing occasion, made it all the more special.
Okay, so let's be real for just one hot second. Since November 1st, planning a wedding changed dramatically. It became an extremely bittersweet thing to do. On one hand, I was excited and so happy to be marrying the man I love so much. But there's this huge pain that comes with it in knowing that my dad wasn't going to be there to walk me down the aisle or dance with me or give me away. NO ONE pictures their wedding day without their dad. I certainly never did, and yet, that was my reality on May 23rd.
Even so, God's grace is greater still. As I was having one of my many meltdowns leading up to the wedding (always started with a freak out and ended in uncontrollable sobs about how much I missed my dad and wanted him to be here), it was the first time I felt as if my daddy was speaking to me. Directly to me. Mitchell and I were driving around running errands and I had gotten really quite and introverted trying to process and calm myself down when I felt my dad say to me, "Emily, tomorrow, you're going to get a taste, just a small taste of where I am right now. You're going to see how amazing heaven is, and you're going to want to come meet me here, not have me come back there. Just wait and see."
Boy, was he right. Our wedding day was a taste of heaven. It really was. I've never been so overwhelmed with God's love for me, with my love for Mitchell, my love for my family, and my love for Jesus. I was in tears most of the day because it's so much more amazing than anyone can ever put into words. I'm so incredibly blessed that God wrote such an amazing chapter in my story, that I get to be a wife, and experience this kind of love and grace on a daily basis with my husband......it just serves as a daily reminder of God's amazing love for me!!! As Tyler was walking me down the aisle, I felt my dad in my heart. As he gave me away, I felt my dad right there with us. As all of the amazing men in my life took turns honoring my dad by dancing with me, I felt him there. Even though I couldn't see him, I could feel him. And the love I felt that day from my dad was so much stronger than the love I felt when he was here on earth. I didn't need any proof of heaven, but if I did, that would've been it. I'm so thankful that God allowed me to experience that and hear my dad in that way.
To everyone who was at our wedding, I hope you were able to feel and experience the love of God in some way, shape, or form. That was our prayer all along. Thank you for all of your well wishes, your love, your prayers, and your support. It really truly was the best day of both of our lives, and it's a day we'll relive forever and ever until we too get to enter heaven's gates as the Bride of Christ. :)
Mitchell surprised me by taking me on a honeymoon to an unknown location! I had no idea where we were going and he was able to keep the surprise for quite a while.....until we actually got to our resort! We spent a week in the beautiful and amazing Riviera Maya, Mexico. It was an absolute dream and we've already vowed to go back at least once. I spent the better part of the week floating in the pool (complete with a Tiki Bar!) with my new husband.......it truly was paradise!
We came home just in time to help mom and Matthew get ready for Matthew's graduation party. I remember waking up one morning and looking into Matthew's bedroom to see him still sound asleep. Immediately I thought, "shouldn't he be at school?!" I guess my mind still hasn't accepted the fact that my little brother has graduated high school! Where did the time go?! In all seriousness though, I've said it once and I'll say it again- I'm so proud of Matthew and the way he has stepped up and taken care of mom. He's really become the man of the house, and I know that dad would be so incredibly proud of him and the man he's becoming. I love my little bro so much, and I know he knows that, because I tell him all of the time (and sometimes he says it back!!!)
All to soon, it was time for Mitchell and I to head back to Nashville and "face reality" as they say. I'll admit that this time leaving home was more emotional than I expected. Maybe it's because we had always known that we'd be home for the wedding and graduation, and now that all of that was over, it felt like we were really setting off on our own. That's exciting, but it's also scary as hell because if we're honest, Mitchell and I have no idea what we're getting ourselves into. We're taking it one day at a time. Thanks be to God that we have amazing family to help us along the way. We packed up in Minnesota and set off for our new life as Mr and Mrs. After two days of driving back to Nashville, we arrived at our new home......
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Since then our life has consisted of unpacking, organizing, decluttering, and lots and lots of runs to Target. :) Like I said earlier, box after box, this place is really feeling like home. Adding some of our own personal touches has helped with the homey feeling. I love coming home to this place and to a husband like Mitchell. Awww.....taking a moment to be blissfully happy about my life..............
Mitchell started working full-time for Rarespark Media Group. He started as an intern there last year and we are very grateful that they asked him to come back full-time. He's doing what he loves and he's great at it. I just love seeing the way his face lights up when he talks about what he gets to do every day! It fires ME up when I see him so fired up! He works with great people and it's an amazing job he has there. Very blessed by that opportunity for sure! I just started this week as a Customer Service Associate at Bath & Body Works. Those that know me well know the irony of this situation.....my bathroom cabinet LOOKS like a Bath & Body Works store. Seriously obsessed. I can't really say much because I've only been there a week, but so far so good. I'm learning as best as I can and I really enjoy being able to share the products I love with customers on a daily basis.
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Quite honestly though, besides being newly married, the thing I'm most excited about is the fact that Mitchell and I worked our way up to Advisor level with AdvoCare. We feel very fortunate to have been able to share with some of you out there about the amazing opportunity we see with this amazing company and the way it has positively impacted our life. AdvoCare is allowing us to build our own business just by sharing what these amazing products have been able to do for us. Plus, the extra income is helping to cover our monthly expenses. Let's face it- my husband works in the entertainment industry, and I work retail. The extra income is definitely going to help us out! I'm so fired up about this opportunity and we are LOVING the way AdvoCare has become a part of our daily routine. Really truly we've never felt healthier and more energized. We are both really, really excited about this.
One of the things AdvoCare has to offer is the 24 Day Challenge. Right now, we are on Day 6 of our Cleanse Phase and we are feeling awesome! :) We're so anxious to see the results on Day 24, but so far so good!
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So.....that's about it for right now. There was just a quick snapshot of life the last few months. Lots of changes and lots of exciting things happening. Day by day, minute by minute, I'm calling on Jesus for strength, guidance, and peace, and every single time He is there for me. This life isn't perfect, this life isn't easy, and this life hurts like a bitch sometimes. But at the beginning of the day, at the end of the day, and in moments in between, I know that God has immeasurably blessed me with the life I have. God has been good to me.
Until next time,
Emily Berndt Steele
PS: Yes, I'll be going by Emily Berndt Steele. I wasn't ready to give up my dad's name. :)
